Finding my WHY

I do this work with my children in mind.
My son, Phoenix, five months into remission from cancer
Wearing a special ventilated mask
not because it’s the right thing to do
but because he has to, because
he’s immunocompromised, one of the
vulnerable ones.
Born of fire, suffered more in his body
in his eight years of life
than many in their lifetimes.
For my ten year old daughter, the other
womxn in the house, named for expansive time, for grace, the ocean, and one of the
oldest known recorded prayers: Lord have Mercy.
And the other two not pictured
because they’re teenage boys and
though they marched, they marched with friends.
Two boys on the cusp of being white men,
the ones who hold the power and the privilege
in this country-who wield the swords.
What do I want for them?

To evolve as much as I can in this
Lifetime.
To cleanse bloodlines.
Break generational patterns.
To be a good ancestor.
Give them as little to unlearn as possible.
To move the rattle two notches further
on the rattlesnake’s tail.
To do my part to tear down
structures of oppression.
Use my voice to speak truth to power.
Model what it looks like to embody
my humanity, live fully alive, admit when I’m
wrong and have so much yet to learn.
To call out injustice, use my privilege to
advocate for the marginalized.
To call into voice the voiceless. 
Prophecy to the breath.
Write the vision.
Make it plain.
So that those who see it may run.
May they be ones who run.

To beat the swords into ploughshares.
Bend like a bow in the archer’s hands
Bend for gladness
Bend while laughing
Bend in joy
So that these arrows may go swift and far
pierce the soul of the world
flood it with light
With light
With light

with light.